Surely you've seen a gothic person or two in your life. You might have come across a person with nose piercings and holes in their ears with the circumference of God's green earth. You may have seen a person who likes to where their hair in a shaved, gelled up, pink mohawk. Sometimes people even like to paint there faces like scary clowns or maybe they like to wear fuzzy cat ears and a tail in public. Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with any of this, but in most cases if you ask such a person why they dress a certain way, they'll have one of a variety of responses. I'm different, I'm an outcast of society, my opinions conflict with the establishment's, I'm not a part of this world ran by the Man, man, or I was born this way. To clarify again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with dressing a certain way. I discovered recently that I found myself in the same position, not in the way I dressed, but what in what I believed to be true and in the way I behaved around others. I had created my own little world, filled with supposed "truths" that I had manufactured myself. Truths(Lies) like, you'll never fit in, you rub people the wrong way, you are a reject, and you are an outcast. So this is how I conducted myself. Surely, I'm different! Of course I don't fit in, after all I am from a different country? Maybe I smell funny, but it makes me different! After being citizen of this foreign planet for so long I hardly noticed that I formed my identity around it at all. Then I came on this trip. I got put in a community of 25 christians and a family of 6 strangers, and after time went on I started feeling very very lonely. I spent a lot of time on my own; all the while, being surrounded by all these awesome people. Some some even drew me out of my "Citizenship" for short periods of time. Last night, all these lonesome emotions hit me, and they hit me hard. Until my team leader found me, in the snack bar, curled up on top of a few plastic crates. Three days of being sick with a a fever(don't worry, I'm fine) and a long day had brought me to this place. Now my team leader, Katie, took notice of my pitiful state and started asking questions to draw me out. Their, in the snack bar, in el Tizatillo, I dealt with some inner demons I've had most of my life. I had become aware of them before but each time I fell into an even bigger snare, until I tonight. I called out all the lies and made some declarations of truth. Sure, I was born in a different country and none of extended family has ever lived on the same continent. I was homeschooled and I didn't graduate from a public high school with a bunch of friends. Instead of making a career plan and starting college, I come on this nine month trek across three countries, but that's ok. Before the earth was made, this is what God had planned for me. I now fit in with a greater kingdom, His Kingdom. The truth that has become so apparent. I am different, You are different, we are different, because we are citizens of Kingdom not of this earth. That is what sets me apart but also makes me fit in.
I know I have been rather poor at blogging here in this country, but I can assure you I will start picking up on that in the weeks to come! I might even do a 2 part summary blog of Honduras. Who knows, life can be pretty unpredictable here at times. We're also leaving Honduras in a weeks time! We'll be flying to Thailand on the 17th and will get there on the 19th I believe. It's wild to the think that this chapter is coming to close. It feels like just yesterday we started settling into our tents. Now, two and a half months later, we are on our way again. Off to a new land, full of great new adventures. You could say I'm pretty eager.
P.S Sure we all say we are weird, but if we all were as weird as we claimed to be, are society would be a little chaotic. One in which people lathered themselves with purple mash to keep warm rather then wearing sweaters or slacks.
